I'm so destroyed right now. Will she call?

So, I've posted about this before and I'm just trying to get the best answers. I know time heals all wounds but its eating me up inside. I'm 23 years old. I got led on by an unattractive 49 year old. I really do not mean to sound like a jerk. This all happened while I was getting sober. She has been sober for a long time. She saw me go through my crying stage, sensitive stage, etc...To complicate things she was my boss at the time. I had to leave because love just doesn't mix with business. AND she is my moms friend. So I professed my love to her and she said that I have to be sober for a year, she doesn't know what she wants, she's concerned about the age gap. etc. She even asked my mom for approval. BUT she also said she looked at me like a son. She has an adopted 4 year old son by the way and I love the kid. He also needs the male figure in his life and him and I have had a lot of fun together. So after all this she was letting me kiss her on the lips and neck and everything. She knew it was coming and never put her foot down, this was all at work to. I know she loves me as a person. She told me so and even tears when I needed space. She thought she was never going to see me again. Its tough to be around someone who doesn't love you the same. So I came back to work and then left a few months after because it just wasn't healthy working together. She all of a sudden became distant as soon as I wasn't her dream of an istant. I did send her some sappy text messages saying that "I knew I was a jerk before I left but it hurts when you cant take a minute to call me back". She called back upset because she thought I thought that she was holding that over my head. Then agreed to lunch.Me her and her son went out once before after I left the office by the way. The day before we where supposed to go to lunch she sent me a text saying " we need some space. I cant give you what you want and its getting uncomfortable. please understand and i will speak to you soon. Alison." It totally destroyed my heart. Its been a month and I'm still keeping the space and no contact. Before she said that she does need to get over her financial hump. I mean the woman has been single for 20 years. Anyway I really love her for her and she knows this. She also knows that I would give whatever I can to her and her son. She is some what well off anyway. She let me get so close and asking for space after all this really destroyed my heart, She knows. I just don't know if it sounds like she will call me soon like she said. I miss her so much and her to me. Any input would help guys and I knoSo, I've posted about this before and I'm just trying to get the best answers. I know time heals all wounds but its eating me up inside. I'm 23 years old. I got led on by an unattractive 49 year old. I really do not mean to sound like a jerk. This all happened while I was getting sober. She has been sober for a long time. She saw me go through my crying stage, sensitive stage, etc...To complicate things she was my boss at the time. I had to leave because love just doesn't mix with business. AND she is my moms friend. So I professed my love to her and she said that I have to be sober for a year, she doesn't know what she wants, she's concerned about the age gap. etc. She even asked my mom for approval. BUT she also said she looked at me like a son. She has an adopted 4 year old son by the way and I love the kid. He also needs the male figure in his life and him and I have had a lot of fun together. So after all this she was letting me kiss her on the lips and neck and everything. She knew it was coming and never put her foot down, this was all at work to. I know she loves me as a person. She told me so and even tears when I needed space. She thought she was never going to see me again. Its tough to be around someone who doesn't love you the same. So I came back to work and then left a few months after because it just wasn't healthy working together. She all of a sudden became distant as soon as I wasn't her dream of an istant. I did send her some sappy text messages saying that "I knew I was a jerk before I left but it hurts when you cant take a minute to call me back". She called back upset because she thought I thought that she was holding that over my head. Then agreed to lunch.Me her and her son went out once before after I left the office by the way. The day before we where supposed to go to lunch she sent me a text saying " we need some space. I cant give you what you want and its getting uncomfortable. please understand and i will speak to you soon. Alison." It totally destroyed my heart. Its been a month and I'm still keeping the space and no contact. Before she said that she does need to get over her financial hump. I mean the woman has been single for 20 years. Anyway I really love her for her and she knows this. She also knows that I would give whatever I can to her and her son. She is some what well off anyway. She still asks my mom how